Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
