Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
