my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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