Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is wine microwaveable?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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