I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
