I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
