YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
