so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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