Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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