4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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