its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
