Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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