Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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