those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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