So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
