Already got asked if we're dating
I hate all girls vehemently.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
