I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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