SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
sick fucks of a feather flock together
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
