I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm both gender and math confused
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
