Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
