The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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