Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
