I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
