im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We had sex on a dog bed..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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