I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
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Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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