If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
