while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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