$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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