He had one of those small greek statue penises
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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