you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize