It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
