super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
