hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
