his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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