What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
