I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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