just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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