she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
