Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
