in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
