If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
