I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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