On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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