the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
