I think my vagina is haunted
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize