i will never coherently bang her
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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