is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
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Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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