You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
