did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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