i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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