dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
