Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
