Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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