Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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