I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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