So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i black out too much to be "responsible"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
