Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
