Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
